Rants; at its best

U.

2009-10-15T22:29:00.003+08:00

♥

out loud.

2009-10-07T16:14:00.001+08:00

i'd rather be abused physically than mentally.

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Now playing: Simple Plan - Shut Up
via FoxyTunes

sweet dreams are made of these ♥

2009-09-26T22:25:00.004+08:00

in the hall full of people, i see only you.

you have no idea how those little gestures made my day, do you?
:)

take me higher.

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Now playing: Leona Lewis - Happy
via FoxyTunes

you will find me.

2009-09-15T19:13:00.003+08:00

if you fall
i will catch you
i'll be waiting
time after time..
♥

:)

2009-09-08T21:55:00.001+08:00

BLISS.
take me higher.

♥

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Now playing: Natasha Bedingfield - These Words
via FoxyTunes

my heart is filled with you.

2009-09-06T12:20:00.004+08:00

You're stuck on me and my laughing eyes
I can’t pretend though I try to hide
I like you. I like you.

I think I felt my heart skip a beat
I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe
You got me. Yeah, you got me.

The way you take my hand is just so sweet
And that crooked smile of yours
it knocks me off my feet

Oh, I just can’t get enough
How much do I need to fill me up?
It feels so good it must be love
It’s everything that I’ve been dreaming of.
I give up. I give in. I let go.
Let’s begin.
Cuz no matter what i do,
Oh (oh)
My heart is filled with you.

I can’t imagine what it'd be like
Livin’ each day in this life
Without you. Without you.
One look from you
I know you understand
This mess we're in you know is just so out of hand.

Oh, I just can’t get enough
How much do I need to fill me up?
It feels so good it must be love
It’s everything that I’ve been dreaming of.
I give up. I give in. I let go.
Let’s begin.
Cuz no matter what i do,
Oh (oh)
My heart is filled with you.

I hope we always feel this way
(I know we will)
And in my heart I know you’ll always stay

Oh, I just can’t get enough
How much do I need to fill me up?
It feels so good it must be love
I give up. I give in. I let go. Let’s begin.
Cuz no matter what I do,

Oh, I just can’t get enough
How much do I need to fill me up?
It feels so good it must be love
(It’s everything that I've been dreaming of)
I give up. I give in. I let go.
Let’s begin.

Cuz no matter what I do,
Oh (oh)
My heart is filled with you.

Oh (oh)
You got me. You got me.
You got me. You got me.
♥

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Now playing: Colbie Caillat - You Got Me
via FoxyTunes

♥

2009-09-04T06:44:00.003+08:00

i've got a secret;
its at the tip of my tongue,
its on the back of my lungs,
and i'm gonna keep it.

♥

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Now playing: Demi Lovato - Catch Me
via FoxyTunes

:)

2009-09-01T01:27:00.001+08:00

♥

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Now playing: Hilary Duff - Now You Know

via FoxyTunes

you~

2009-08-30T23:30:00.003+08:00

And could you be the one that's not afraid
To look me in the eyes
I swear I would collapse
If I would tell how I think you fell
From the sky..

tell me about it.
everything about you seems to take my breath away.
every sight of you makes my heart skip a beat.
every smile.
every glance your way.
every little thing.
but yet, as blurry as you can ever be,
you never catch the little signs i threw all over the place.
all over the place, man.
i'm airing my hearts out in public, for you to notice.
but i failed miserably.
or in this case, you failed to notice, miserably.
cuz others can tell.
everyone else, but you.
:(

I won't know what to say sometimes.
But I'll say something anyway.

I'll be late.
But I'll get there.

♥

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Now playing: Hoobastank - You're The One
via FoxyTunes

my ♥ will never be your home.

2009-08-25T16:28:00.004+08:00

on repeat.

Made a meal and threw it up on sunday,
I’ve, got a lot of things to learn,
Said I would and I believe in one day,
Before my heart starts to burn.

So what’s the matter with you,
Sing me something new,
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know,
They only seem to come and go, away.

Times are hard when things have got no meaning,
I’ve found a key upon the floor,
Maybe you and I will not believe in,
The thing we find behind the door.

So what’s the matter with you,
Sing me something new,
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know,
They only seem to come and go away.

Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows,
Yeah nobody knows,
The way it’s gonna be.

If your leaving will you take me with you,
I’m tired of talking on my phone,
There is one thing I can never give you,
My heart will never be your home,

So what’s the matter with you,
Sing me something new,
Don’t you know the cold and wind and rain don’t know,
They only seem to come and go, away.

Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be,
Stand by me,
Nobody knows, yeah nobody knows,
The way it’s gonna be.

ps: it hurts to see you sick and knowing that there's nothing that i can do :( get well soon!

you tell me.

2009-08-23T14:21:00.002+08:00

why am I worried sick?
:(

sighs.

you make sense of madness.
my sanity is in your hands..

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Now playing: Boyz 2 Men - On Bended Knees
via FoxyTunes

addicted.

2009-08-22T00:01:00.001+08:00

omg beauuuutiful!
im officially a fan.
xx

blacks on a friday.

2009-08-21T12:33:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i did the unthinkable.
for me la at least.
for someone who have NEVER ever did something close to that, that is an achievement.
i never thought that i could do it, till the very moment i did it yesterday.
it felt good - the thrill and excitement, the wave of emotions running through me as i did it.
i never felt that way before.
and i'm glad to have been given the chance to feel it now.
yay! :D

----

on another note, Ramadhan is coming tomorrow.
i wish you all selamat berpuasa! :)

ps: and i wish you well. get well soon! ♥

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Now playing: Akon - Be With You
via FoxyTunes

once bitten.

2009-08-15T01:02:00.004+08:00

i won't forget this.
ever.
if you think you're so superior, dream on.
you crossed the line.
you, of all ppl.
sighs.
multi-faced scumbags like you DO NOT deserve to live.

i hope you read this.

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Now playing: Lily Allen - Kabul Shit
via FoxyTunes

back to school.

2009-08-06T13:48:00.002+08:00

after 5 weeks of studyless days, (for me la at least)
it actually feels good to be back.
you get to see all the happy faces that you missed. :)
not all la but yeah, some tu mmg you rly look forward to see la kan :D
and all those talks about wut you did to kill time during the holiday.
cuti pegi mane.. brape byk nasi lemak/roti canai kau bantai..
n not forgetting, kau jgn ckp kau x mkn burger ramly lgsg!
haha.. those are the famous starters la.
cuz obviously, those are famous msian food that you cant get here.
although, end of holiday literally means, of course, more lectures, notes and exams.
but at least another holiday is coming, so no pressure. la kot (?)
wuhoo!
dunno what i'm updating neway, juz crap :P
reddish maroonie stripey,
kill me now :D

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Now playing: Pitbull - I Know You Want Me
via FoxyTunes

but yet.

2009-07-14T01:06:00.003+08:00

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Now playing: Silverchair - Miss You Love ♥
via FoxyTunes

aauwww.

2009-07-06T17:38:00.003+08:00

♥

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Now playing: Angels & Airwaves - Breathe
via FoxyTunes

dengarkanlah aku..

2009-06-27T13:53:00.001+08:00

i don't wanna go back!
not yet.
:(

sighs.

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Now playing: Hijau Daun - Suara (Ku Berharap)
via FoxyTunes

:) :) :)

2009-06-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

yesterday marks the last day of 3rd year!
so there, i made it.
we all did.
hoho you have zero idea how it felt like, passing up the block exam paper.
what with the scene at exam hall before the exam started.
haha.
i'm on top of the world :P

omg i can't believe it has been 3 solid yrs staying here.
i survived :)
the people that matters make it even more worthwhile.
ceeeyhh ckp mcm dh nk grad esok je..huhu
i still have 2 yrs ++ here anyway. but the next time i step my foot here, i'm gonna be a 4th yr student.
lalalala..
somehow that sounds..orgasmic. haha. just perfect.

went to watch Transformers 2 : Revenge of The Fallen, last nite.
two words to describe it.
pure awesomeness!
wuhoo!
went bowling before that with azree farina n nan.
then later hang out at the cafe on the 1st floor till arnd 11, before we went to the cinema.
there's a story behind the journey huhu
but lets just not share it here shall we?
i shall just keep it to myself.
haha.
n to those who were there itself.
they know.

hmmm..if i were to judge, i think i'll give 8.5/10 for the movie.
can't rly concentrate though.
got sleepy at some point. ngeh :p
its a midnight show aftr all! haha
will watch it again n again n again when im back in msia.
counting hours!
but yet. somehow, im not that excited to go back this time around.
maybe cuz nobody is at home except for my parents? no?
whos gonna layan me merepek n all?
my younger sis' registration day in UiTM Dungun (hahh take dat, she got dungun T_______T) is on the same day im goen back to msia, so obviously im not gonna see her then :(
my younger bro is in alam shah aldy since the school break's over.
n both my elder sisters are working.
or maybe i just don't wanna leave jogja yet.
just maybe.
sighssssssss.
if i can bring home the people that matters, thats exactly what i'll do.
if only.

overall yesterday was fun.
couldn't have ended my last days in jogja before goen back any better.
you made my day :)
:)

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Now playing: Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher
via FoxyTunes

the fine art of longing.

2009-06-22T15:34:00.005+08:00

i bet you don't know.
that you're the sole reason i wake up and go to school for.

i bet you don't have a clue.
how your smile made my day. or even week.

i bet you never notice.
how my heart skipped a beat. each time you walked past me.

i bet you have no idea.
how the world seems to move in slow motion. just cuz ur in it.

i bet you don't know.
i bet you don't have a clue.
i bet you never notice.
i bet you have no idea.

nothing else will ever do,
'cause all i need is you.

the heart does things for reasons that even reasons can't understand.
do the math.

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Now playing: Lifehouse - You Belong To Me
via FoxyTunes

crossed fingers

2009-06-22T01:13:00.004+08:00

who am i kidding?

sighsssssssss.

i'll keep on wishing though.
upon every stars.

every. single. one.

p/s: all the best to those taking OSCE tomorrow. lets pray all goes well. we can do this! :)

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Now playing: T.I. - Whatever You Like
via FoxyTunes

dreaming aloud.

2009-06-17T20:24:00.005+08:00

made a scene in kantor imigrasi.
sighs.
they just don't freaking geddit how we would do anything humanly possible, to go back to msia.
like duuh?
but thank god its all settled.
thank god..

OSCE is on monday!
there are 5 skills this sem, baby delivery, IUD and implant insertion, gynecology xm, mental status exam and pathology reflex.
mental status is the hardest!
there'll be this simulated patient who will act like a nuthead for the whole 7 minutes (or is it 10mins?) and we'll have to korek whatever information from her/him!
its crazy!
sometimes they won't even speak!
dat, is one thing.
in some cases, they scream la act like chicken la act like we're their master n they're scared of us la.. all those crazy stuff.
aishhh.
i just hope i can do well in that.
dhla my group is the 1st group on monday! aiyayayy!
n block exam is on thursday!
so help me god.
lets just pray all goes well :)

thr are many things to be thankful today..
i passed my anat xm :)
i dun care how much i get, as long as i dun have to do remedials.
yay!
n also for the kittas erp thingy.
i supposed its all settled, after we went to see the head of imigrasi office itself, and explained about our situation.
i actually shed tears of joy haha when he said that its ok, that we can go back as scheduled and renew our kittas when we get back here.
god knows how i felt then.
rase nk sujud syukur pon ade huhu :)
n lastly, for life as it is now.
i can smell sunshine ♥

if you only knew what i knew but couldn't say..

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Now playing: Hilary Duff - Now You Know
via FoxyTunes

:)

2009-06-16T11:03:00.001+08:00

:)

enough said. ♥

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Now playing: India Arie - Chocolate High (Feat. Musiq Sould Child)
via FoxyTunes

say.

2009-06-13T20:04:00.004+08:00

sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.
no matter how much you wanna let it out of your system, it seems like the hardest thing to do.
you just can't.
at one point you just couldn't care less if you croak it out, as long as you say it.
but there are times when you wanna say it in the most beautiful way, no questions asked.
the more you think about it, the more absurd it sounds.
never knowing what could have been is the worst thing one can ever imagine.
you're dying inside. literally.
but yet, you still can't.
you'd rather live with the answer, than die with the question.
the question that never leave your lips.
the question that only one can answer.
and the only one question, that you can't ask.

say what you need to say.
'cuz in the end,
its better to say too much,
than not to say what you need to say.

here's to dreams that never will come true.
cheers.

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Now playing: Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most
via FoxyTunes

♥

2009-06-11T00:03:00.003+08:00

oh so addictive.

Cuz you got my head a-spinning just like a
carousel
Thinking of you every minute, I know it's crazy
but true
I'm fa-la-la-la-falling for you
Kind of like a constant craving, I'm underneath
your spell
Baby there ain't no escaping; I know it's crazy
but true
Fa-la-la-la-falling for you..
♥♥

ps: pls pls pls plssssssssssssssss let me at least pass anat xm.

pps: hmmmm. on 2nd thought, nothing.

k done. now mari berkebun. :-B

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Now playing: Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know
via FoxyTunes

someday.

2009-05-26T21:11:00.004+08:00

Someday we'll know

If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you..

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you..

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Now playing: Mandy Moore - Someday We'll Know
via FoxyTunes

ookay im listening.

2009-05-24T12:00:00.003+08:00

"..put your heart to rest.
stop thinking about the unthinkable.
move on.
time waits for noone.
and get your feet back on the ground!.."

-_-"

baiklahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Now playing: Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love
via FoxyTunes

-

2009-05-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

T__________________T

cause of death: ask roomie.

R.I.P

:(

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Now playing: Acha Septriasa - Sampai Menutup Mata
via FoxyTunes

chill.

2009-05-19T22:42:00.005+08:00

felt very much alive, after the quick getaway to bandung last weekend. with the parents! missed them already though :( i cried on the train on the way back to jogja haha! sheeeeshh.. guess i'll never grow up. befriended someone on the train. 8-hour journey passed blissfully. except for the lil RAT passing by next to my seat every 1 hour or so. euw.
read A Hopeless Romantic by Harriet Evans. such happy ending! i wish fairy tales like that do exist. sighss. but lets not get too carried away and just be thankful for what we have. and NOT have our heads high in the clouds and skipping heartbeats. just yet. just yet.

something reaaaaaallyy stupid happened today. shouldn't have happened. but it did anyway. and i, being the usual paranoid me, felt like an arse. haiyoo. padahal its really nothing.

word of the day = chill.

haha.

my parents went back to msia already. stayed in jakarta last night for the final shopping spree before heading home. i hope they had a blast. i know i did :) can't help being a bit too emotional reading my dad's text when i board the train. sighsss i just love them both. too much sometimes. but like duh, doesn't everyone love their parents? even when i was taking a shower while in bandung, i tried to make it as brief as possible, so that i won't waste any unnecessary minute with them when they're still around. haha yes i know. apekah? :P n how the heck did he left his 1 pack of cigarette in my handbag haha! should i throw it away? or do anything with it? :P but he asked me to 'give to your guy friend who smokes'. LOL. takkan kot?!! i think i'll just throw it away. or maybe give it to some random guy who doesn't mean the world to me, so that it won't make me feel guilty for contributing to his acceleration of death. no? haha. merepek je apekah.

i'm reshuffling my labs for the week. had to join the other session for 3 labs - anatomy, pharmaco n skills lab. pokoknya all labs this week la. just because i missed one pharmaco lab on monday. huhu i hope all went well though.

oh how i miss my brotherrrrrrrrr. cepatla july!! T_________T
saw his pics in my sis' fb, during the alam shah carnival or something. oits mana perut? he has gone skinneyyyyyyy! n darker of course. but who can challenge me? i'm the darkest in the family lah now no doubt. staying here for a day je dah cukup dah. let alone 3 years T.T

and lately i'm addicted to adam lambert's version of If I Can't Have You. slow number, but very much alive. straight to the point.

gtg read for pharmaco tomorrow. and hoping to just be an observer for the whole injecting mice experiment. haha. i'll leave the work to the dedicated members of group 5 thank you :D

till then.

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Now playing: Adam Lambert - If I Can't Have You
via FoxyTunes

sebenarnya.

2009-05-14T17:08:00.003+08:00

be careful what you wish for..

cuz you just might get it all ;)

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Now playing: Man Bai - Sebenarnya
via FoxyTunes

soulmate.

2009-05-07T04:28:00.004+08:00

waking up at 3am, with this song in my head.
and a nightmare before that.

...

ps; i miss the one i'm close with back in college. i wish i could rewind and replay the good times we shared! miss u macik :( :(

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Now playing: Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate
via FoxyTunes

#@^(*&%#!

2009-05-05T23:13:00.005+08:00

xm was _________. (insert your own swear word)
120 Qs in 2 hours!!

FTW!

halfway through that i was like, flipping through the papers already, counting how many Qs left. drawing rainbows and ice creams on the paper. writing initials and stuff. blerghhh. gila short attention span. haha. i should've write NO MORE 1 SESSION EXAM in the suggestion column in the survey sheet they passed at the end of the xm. i know someone did! haha :D

sighs.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Now playing: Rihanna - Rehab
via FoxyTunes

and i hope that..

2009-05-03T01:27:00.002+08:00

when the sun sets in the sky,

you're the apple of my eye..

cookies & milk.

2009-05-02T06:17:00.004+08:00

morning world.
its 5.18am and yes, i'm blogging :)
i woke up for subuh just now, when my one n only lil brother suddenly ym-ed me.

" hello? adek? "...

haha. what could be more heavenly than that? :) waking up to your brother missing you. heeeee. chatting with him now. :) its weird though, that he's up this early. he told me that he's planning to do his homework so he set his alarm this early. aauw. haha. i dunno why im so melancholic when it comes to him. guess i just love him too much. :)

now that i'm up, i might as well start with the oh-so-bertimbun lecture notes. fuhhhh. inter decided to make the 2-session exam into 1-session only, this tuesday at 10am.

FTW!

dah alang2 buat 1 session why don't you just make it on thursday? sighs. plus 1 session is like, suicidal. haha. you only have 1 shot at everything. now that sucks. sighss.

a lot of things happened before me, in just a matter of time. a lot changed. im not saying that im not affected, but at this point i seriously just couldn't care less. so sue me. nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission anyway. i know it affects someone so much that it hurts. and it hurts to see her get hurt. but there's nothing that i can do. the damage is done. these things are one of the reasons why this place sucks, even more. but lets just leave it there for now. time will tell.

im having chocolate chip cookies with milk.
and im thinking of you.
:)

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Now playing: The Archies - Sugar, Sugar
via FoxyTunes

SOS!

2009-04-30T22:53:00.002+08:00

oh saya sungguh malas mau study utk PA exam esok.
apekah kemalasan ini!
sgt kronik!

its nearly 10pm, and well.. believe it or not, i haven't even start memorizing PA!
FTW!
there's like 19 cases kottttttt. with PAP smear slides summore.
i had my coffee already, and yet my eyes are.. well. lets just say they're struggling damn hard to be open.
gila malassssssssssssss T.T
have i been drugged or something? ceyyhh nak jgk salahkan org, padahal sendiri yg malas -__-"

anddddd i haven't search for my LO's (read: learning objectives) for tutorial tomorrow either.
thank god i'm the book scriber. teehee :P
omigosh ape nak jadi ni!
and here i am updating blog pulak.
giloz.
malasnyeeeeeeeeeee!

i need motivation.
i need inspiration.

SOS!

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Now playing: Muse - Can't Take My Eyes Off You
via FoxyTunes

you.

2009-04-29T14:49:00.002+08:00

i. want.

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Now playing: Plain White T's - 1 2 3 4
via FoxyTunes

pre-exam syndrome.

2009-04-28T00:27:00.003+08:00

yee mari merepek sebelum exam esok :-B

i just wanna share this lil something i wrote in my diary last month. the occasion is rather too private to share, but i really love this quote, cant recall the source though.

" In life, we all have..

an unspeakable secret

an irreversible regret

an unreachable dream

an unforgettable love..."

soooo the very true eh? i'm pretty sure everyone hav their fair share of these.

the 1st one, is killing me inside.
the 2nd, is something i wish i can forget.
the 3rd, oh well i'm still hoping.. so help me god..
and the 4th, sighss.

wokeiii back to lecture notes. :-B
wish me luckkkkkkk!

-----------

i'd come for you,
noone but you,
yes i'd come for you,
but only if you told me to..

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Now playing: Nickleback - I'd Come For You
via FoxyTunes

sleep well~

2009-04-25T11:44:00.003+08:00

we all look like we feel..

:)

why can't i?

2009-04-23T20:19:00.005+08:00

--------------

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?

why can't i speak whenever i talk about you?

its inevitable.

its a fact that we're gonna get down to it.

so tell me..

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?

----------------

Now playing: Liz Phair - Why Can't I

via FoxyTunes

killing me softly.

2009-04-21T21:07:00.003+08:00

to say, or not to say?
to pursue, or leave it be?

sighsssss.
i need answers. pronto.

.....

if it takes my whole life,
i won't break, i won't bend,
it will all be worth it,
worth it in the end..

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Now playing: Sarah McLachlan - Answer
via FoxyTunes

never close enough to say.

2009-04-20T17:13:00.004+08:00

don't second guess your feelings.

you were right from the start..

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Now playing: Jaymay - Gray Or Blue
via FoxyTunes

i can't keep up, and i can't back down.

2009-04-19T19:43:00.003+08:00

...

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin..

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Now playing: Lifehouse - You And Me
via FoxyTunes

=]

2009-04-16T13:56:00.004+08:00

Sie lassen mein Herz singen.

:)

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Now playing: Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
via FoxyTunes

haywire.

2009-04-16T02:00:00.004+08:00

note to self:

respect the boundaries.
take a step away.
let time decide.

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Now playing: Chris Daughtry - Over You
via FoxyTunes

I know I've got close but I'm sure it's too far

2009-04-15T12:59:00.005+08:00

still you.

without a doubt.

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Now playing: Angels & Airwaves - Do It For Me Now
via FoxyTunes

the day after

2009-04-13T08:20:00.003+08:00

You seem to know the way
To turn my frown upside down
You always know what to say
To make me feel like everything's ok

Nothing works like you..

p/s: i miss home. take me homeeeeee -_-'

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Now playing: Lenka - Knock Knock
via FoxyTunes

ramblings

2009-04-11T22:08:00.004+08:00

oh well. some things have been bugging me for days. weeks, to be exact. or more like months. buttt i'm not saying that its bothering me to the core, apparently not. sighss. its just that, i wish i'm not thinking about it religiously till it gives me headache at times. some things are better left unspoken i guess.

i miss my brother. yes, i know. typical me. haha. i get homesick once in a while. and i miss my lil brother at all times. god knows whyyyy. maybe because we are close. though theres like a 10 yr gap between us, but duh, does it matter? ngehs. buttt now since he's been to SAS, i can sense the closeness starting to fade :| or maybe its just me. but stilllllll. haha x puas hati. last time whenever he's at home, we'll chat like there's no tomorrow. he'll update me with every single thing that happened at home then. but now, we rarely chat. not that i'm complaining, i mean yeah i know he's in a boarding school and all. the times he had at home pon is just during weekends, and he'll probably sleep it off anyway. or play PS2. or go see his friends or something. well i guess he's growing up. and i should probably do the same too.

nothing new. just feel like updating. i've been listening to melee's song today. over and over again. somehow i feel like i can relate to this.

‘Cause this is real, and this is good
It warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all,
It’s built to last

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Now playing: Melee - Build To Last
via FoxyTunes

the climb

2009-04-10T20:16:00.005+08:00

who would have thought, that i will climb up a mountain by 23? haha well almost 23 actually :D it was daymmm tiring, my patella almost popped out i could say, haha. and i can feel every effing muscle in my body aching, up till now. i was the reason the group had to stop a couple of times cuz i just can't take it anymore -_-" oopsy :P its too late to go back down, nor it is too early to reach the top! but we made it after all! wuhooo! the adrenaline rush was priceless. i have never climb up a mountain before, and this is definitely an experience i'll cherish for life. the group of friends who went on the trip was justtt amazing. i hav the bestie who held my hand climbing up and going down the mountain, and my favourite nona, and a motivator saying "cmon kak G you can do it! sket lagi!" along the way, and everyone else..

all in all, it was worth the climb! nothing beats the feeling when you're up there. the scenery was breathtaking! i thank God to have been given the chance to witness the spectacular view. the journey took around 3 hours if i'm not mistaken. we left jogja around 12.30am, and reached Dieng around 3.30am. the roadtrip sgtlah memeningkan, i had to pop some panadol to get rid of the throbbing headache, which didn't go away pon till we stopped somewhere to wait for the guide. after we reached Dieng, it took around 20-30 more minutes to climb up to the top. we were there to watch the sunrise. MAGNIFIENT view. priceless. it was veryyyy cold up there. and it was surprising how none of us were sleepy haha, considering the fact that we didn't sleep the whole day before. at least i didn't. buttttt that explains the drained energy in a just a blink of an eye. sheesh. but then again, who cares? i reached the top! \m/

after the sunrise, we went to some candi place which i didn't get the name -_-' but the place was awesome as well. the air was soo much cleaner and fresh, compared to here in jogja. here, its like breathing smoke, 24/7. blerghh. if i get lung cancer then i know who to blame x(

we also went to this place with sulphur pond or something, its not a pond haha! but i dunno what its called :P which btw, smells sooo yuckily suphur-ish. the area was like a desert, everything was white. and smelly. but there's like a water source right in the middle of it, and the water was sooo cold. and clear. rather weird, cuz just nearby there's like a whole pond with boiling sulphur kottt. the guide told us that someone once commited suicide by jumping into the boiling sulphur. disturbing thought! :|

anywayyy, i had fun today. accompanied by this aching muscles. and these dark circles under my eyes. not to mention dehydrated. yay! haha. and i don't even wanna think about tomorrow. i might have to crawl my way out of bed. -_-" thank god its still the weekend :D

Listening to >> The Vines - Get Free <<

out of boredom.

2009-04-09T13:21:00.003+08:00

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.
In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.
But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!
There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.
This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.
You know a relationship is not about getting your way.
And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is high.
You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.
Having your own life is very important for you...
Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

Listening to >> Michelle Branch - You Set Me Free <<

soon will come..

2009-04-09T00:47:00.003+08:00

like a heart needs a beat

2009-04-05T20:29:00.004+08:00

---

like a camera with no flash

like a frame with no picture

like a pen with no ink

like a lamp with no bulb

like a cellphone with no battery

like a song with no lyrics

like a garden with no flowers

like a night sky with no stars

like a car with no gas

like a stripper with no ass haha

like a pimp with no money

like eating maggi kari with no telur -_-"

like having swiss mushroom with no vanilla coke

i can go on with these all day.

sighss..

Listening to >> Coldplay - Lost <<

sleeeeepydooda

2009-04-04T01:45:00.003+08:00

goen to the beach tomorrow! wuhooo!

i watched Fast n Furious 4 just now, not bad at all. too sleepy now to go in details. plus i don't wanna write spoilers for those who haven't watch it yet :P

BEACHHHH!!<:-P

Listening to >> Corrine Bailey Rae - Like A Star <<

3 months and counting

2009-04-03T00:55:00.002+08:00

i miss home. i miss the feeling of seeing my home into view.

the roundabout, those rows of houses in sec 9 sec 10 n sec 11, concorde, SA mall, naik bukit, turun bukit, housessssss, shopsssss, jalan tebing.. tadaaa.. dah sampai :((

i miss my brother. my dad. my mom. the sisters. :(

i miss you.

i wanna go home.

this place sucks. BIG TIME.

Listening to >> Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most <<

rants

2009-04-02T01:53:00.004+08:00

hmmm..

today went well, except for the over-heated microbe session in the unusual lab. with no fan :O wtffff yeah i know. gila panas. anatomy was ok as well, although we didn't get Dr Junaidi like what we wished for -_-' he is like, a life saver to all students taking anatomy kott. his lessons are sooo efficiently effective that you don't mind paying him to teach you the same thing over and over again. cuz after all, most of his questions are gonna come up in the exam later anyway.

a friend of mine asked me to listen to this particular song from the new movie; Confessions of a Shopaholic, entitled Don't Forget Me by Macy Gray. andddddd now i'm addicted :-B

In the wintertime
Keep your feet warm
But keep your clothes on and don't forget me
Keep the memories
But keep your powder dry too

In the summer by the poolside
While the fireflies are all around you
I'll miss you when I'm lonely
I'll miss the sunshine too

Now don't forget me
Please don't forget me
Make it easy on me just for a little while
You know I think about you
I hope you'll think about me too

When we're older a little slower it doesn't matter now come on get happy
'cause nothing lasts forever but I will always love you

Now don't forget me
Please don't forget me
Make is easy on me just for a little while
You know I think about you
I hope you'll think about me too

for obvious reasons, this song really gets me :|

i wish things are easier. i just can't help being a bit emotional at times. wait who am i kidding? a bit?? bwahaha.. like soooooooo emotional kot. i can snap at people without even realizing it :| i can roll my eyes at people who don't deserve it, with no feeling of guilt wutsoever. yeahh wtf. i know. i'm sorry, its just not me. i haven't been myself lately. life has been haywire, since that day. i wish i can turn back time, or at least, rewind and replay the good times. so that i don't really bother about whatever it is thats bothering me now. i miss the sunshine.

NOT looking forward for tomorrow. the things to do is to get up, survive, and go back to bed. wish me luck!

Listening to >> Macy Gray - Don't Forget Me <<

oh fcuk.

2009-04-01T07:57:00.003+08:00

i was stupid enough to fall for it. AGAIN.

...

Listening to >> Adele - Chasing Pavements <<

baby delivery + yay syed! :D

2009-03-31T17:23:00.004+08:00

today was exhaustingggg. blerghhh. 8 hours straight in campus, with only merely half an hour break for lunch mmg killed me la. the break pon was because we managed to finish tutorial a weeee bit early before the next lab starts. which was soo. HOT. can't they afford an aircond in ALL LABSS??? so far only pharmaco lab have AC, and some of the skills lab room. c'mon now other labssss :-w

haha but i can't imagine anatomy lab with AC though. what with the formaline smell and all. yikess. up until now, although it has been what, 17 blocks? and most of the blocks got anatomy as part of the subjects, but stilllll i just can't handle the formaline smell. each and everytime. i have to rub some vicks under my nose and even some into it -__-" just so that i won't smell it. it just sucks. sampai pedih2 mata sume 8-|

just now in skills lab, we learned about baby delivery. woot. which was rather fun. andddd scary at the same time. haha. i went to do my attachment in HUKM when i was in college, and we did have the chance to go into the delivery room and watch some real live baby delivery process. which was quite disturbing, then. i could have sworn that i did not want to go through all those, after the whole day observing in the delivery room. wuuu. it seemed painful. but now things might change. maybe. haha. the doctor just now showed us the techniques, from stage 1 to stage 4, when he was supposed to teach us until stage 2 only, haha. it was cool nevertheless. seems pretty easy, especially when its done on a dummy. haha. the real world should be different and not to mention, horrifying. the one thing that i'm scared of is when you're trying to pull out the fetus' shoulders -- you have to like sort of grab the baby's head bilaterally, meaning both hands holding on to it, and push it up and down, until the shoulders come out. whaaaaaaat if the neck snaps or something? *gulp* i dunno. babies just seems sooo fragile, don't you think?

the lab ended in approximately 30 minutes, haha cool or what? the doctor came in late, he was a substitute anyway, and we managed to finish just in time for our lecture. and all of us sempat practice doing the baby delivery process in 5 minutes time. all 10 students, in 5 minutes B-)

on the other hand, it just seems so good to not see the pictures, for once. maybe it'll help in the recovery process. i'm moving on. the world is a better place. lighter, free-er. i can now smile, and actually mean it :)

oh yeah, this post also goes to SYED who sort of got his interview result today, and yesssssssss he's gonna be employed real soon. yeayy you!! i'm happy for you, and i'm sure the world is too :)

and dude, you owe me BK's swiss mushroom in july. and the XXL chicken wtf. and also marche. hahaha :P

Listening to >> Blue October - Calling You <<

empty frames

2009-03-31T07:03:00.005+08:00

hmmm..

this is wayyyy too private for the world. not to mention, too depressing as well. :|

maybe i should go back to basics. now where's my diary..

the last batch of photos are down. the frames are all empty now. for now. 8 of them, to be exact. sighss. is this emptiness, what i'm feeling right now? or relieved is knocking on my door? or guilt, perhaps? regret maybe? :-<

trust me i have zero idea. time will heal, they say. we'll just wait till time work wonders on this one then. till then, all i have to keep is strong. after all, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

gtg to class. 7am - 3pm. yaay! -__-"

p/s: goodluck syed for the exxon checkup. lets pray all goes well! :D

say you'll stay

2009-03-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

well, i'm a weeee bit disturbed at the moment. wasting time productively by doing...nothing :|

when i actually have to prepare for tutorial and parasit lab tomorrow kottt. sighsss.

this particular song is in my head the whole day. repeating itself countlessly. god knows why..

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time

Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you

And here I go, losing my control
I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you

-- Bic Runga - Sway

all i need is a sign..

#001

2009-03-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

well, hello world :D

a friend of mine asked me, why do you write in your diary? noone will read 'em..

-_-"

ffinee i'll publish them then. haha.

so yeah, here goes nothing.. bear with my crapsss. n if you've got nothing to do n plan to humor yourself with free readings of nothing but rants, then you've come to the right place ;D

i've got nothing to offer, but that.

the fact is i'm supposed to dig my head in these never-ending lecture notes for the final paper this friday, and yettttt i'm starting a blog instead. pffft.

welllllll, since i've got pretty much nothing to rant about today, i might as well just keep it short. n sweet. :) its my 1st entry ever anyway.

till next time.